1. |
Unwanted
01:51
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UNWANTED
I found myself wondering when it'd be appropriate
To take a picture of you without implying anything new/unwanted
I found myself running my hands through your chest hair
Your head hair and over your tattoos
I found myself smelling you on the pillow you used
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2. |
Packing Heat
01:50
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PACKING HEAT
Packing heat
You backed me against the pressboard wall
Didn't know if you'd kissed a boy before
You tried me out like i was yours to try
Quick but effective
I wondered how preventative it was
For you to say you weren't looking for anything
You just wanted to play
I said that's fine don't worry
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3. |
You Can Have Me
01:07
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YOU CAN HAVE ME
Stripped of my shields of glass and layered clothes
I think I was deceived
You asked, "Can I have you?"
And I answered, "You can have me"
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4. |
Remark
03:59
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REMARK
You call me at 11:30
Could you be any more overt?
Your intentions are apparent and your affections
Are transparent
Are your means to what end you've put yours in
I say no
I explain
You can call me later if you want to
And cultivate this misled thing
When you've called I've answered begging
Jumping your gun
It was only half good
You reiterate your invitation and I explain away
What more can I say
What will keep you at bay
But not pull you up on the sand?
Your nose I love could still save you
If you were brave you could still make something new from this
I would rather be my own steadfast lover
Than take what you would give me just to get some
I am my own affectioneer from here on out
I will not take you seriously unless you will take this slow
I could just conjure up an eight of wands
And it would scare me to know it so well
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5. |
Same Old Same Old
00:37
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6. |
How To Run
01:58
|
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|
HOW TO RUN
This feels more right than usual
But I'm still worried as I am
That I have been out of the race too long
To remember how to run
It felt over and it felt sad
The colorful dream that was that week in your bed
With your hand between my legs
Should i fight or let flee you?
Not to doom us too soon
But so far with you
I've been hitting the nail on the head
I thought everything was so good
But as it turns out novelty stepped in
And was entertained again
Surprise surprise
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7. |
Handful Of The Withheld
02:50
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HANDFUL OF THE WITHHELD
It felt like you wanted me to stay
Hell, I wanted to stay
Maybe now is not the time...
I walked home almost waiting for you to run after me
I would feel your hand on my shoulder or side
I looked like I was holding something to myself
I suspected—while there was nothing in my hands—
I was holding quite the handful of withheld secrets
Secrets not born of fantasy
But ones maybe as of yet unripe for picking
You were my level
And how I would give them up when you came to harvest
Was I a shallow read?
A vellum sheet over a high-contrasted picture of
White white and black black?
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8. |
Everwide
02:17
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EVERWIDE
My hope is everwide
And my eyes are open wide
And what i see is everything
And accepting is the hardest part
Rivers are everwide
Depending on your size
And I may be small
But I could be tall
Give up category it's outdated
The sky here is everwide
That is if you're outside
And counting stars is only pointless
If you don't know that they exist
Our land is everwide
And with us it abides
And it could be nameless
And we just tamed it
Why just use it and leave it for dead?
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9. |
Wax
02:05
|
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WAX
My attraction waxed
A high tide
With no chance of retreat
An unreachable ocean
Only a breeze felt
And a smell
Smelt
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10. |
My Young Horse
02:08
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|
MY YOUNG HORSE
My young horse
If you grew wings you would find you were tethered
I worry
My balancing act is done
Now I want to travel like a spider on a horse
Play by play
And you were never annoyed
You hear everything and you're still around
You are the only person i'd ride across town in the freezing cold for
As a spider rode on you-as-a-horse's back
I rode in your tail and wove it longer
You are the only person I am not tense around
Your shoes like hooves made that comforting noise
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11. |
Two Mouths
02:10
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TWO MOUTHS
I liked that we went on a date
Though we weren't dating
It was a day to ourselves
Five whole days in one
And every color was richer then
Than if we'd stayed at home
I saw that you had two mouths
And wondered if that was new
And which mouth you used
And what was different between the two
And what each meant to you
And what they do
You said you didn't say it
Because you didn't want me to be sorry
To then apologize like I did all the time
And you brought that to attention
So casually said
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12. |
Let It Down
02:46
|
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|
LET IT DOWN
Gotta give this dam a chance to fill up
Before I go and try to get things right
Gotta give and have some down time
Before I get up
Let it down
Gotta let it down softly
Let it down
Gotta let it down in front of me
Gotta keep my distance while nurturing you
Before I go and dash all we have now
Gotta drop my guard and let you in
Before it can't be razed
Let it down
Gotta let it down softly
Let it down
Gotta let it down in front of me
But it's no longer clear
Where I see myself
Ten years from now
But soon it will be distilled
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13. |
Ace Of Cups
02:16
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ACE OF CUPS
What is it about me that says:
Try me out!
Hassle free!
I was embarrassed and ashamed of what buildings i've made
I was foolish and afraid to let me loose untamed
Can I just tell you you saved me just now
On the rug
Staying up
When you had to go to bed
What you said and what you gave
Is my new favorite thing
And this feeling will never leave
I was loved and remade
And what name could i give you
That would say all I love of you in one word?
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14. |
Lamb/Lion
01:35
|
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LAMB/LION
As a lion I would call you
Ask you questions
Ask you out
And answers were so rarely audible
If voiced at all
As a lamb I waited
I was so often a lamb
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Purrbot Portland
Nathan Wade Carter (he/him) is a queer, grey-a, non-binary poet, musician, & artist living in Portland, Oregon. His chapbook is ROYGBIV (Ursus Americanus Press 2017). His poetry can be found in Hobart, Fugue, Gramma Poetry, Poor Claudia, The Fem, & others. He is the editor and founder of SUSAN / The Journal. He writes & performs songs under the name Purrbot. ... more
Purrbot recommends:
The Artist
by Jon David Russell
I love this album and this artist because it's beautiful, sad, intricate, thoughtful, intelligent, emotional, sweet, real, lovely, timeless and yet of this time. Much love to Jonathan Russell!
go to album
Who Needs Who
by Dark Dark Dark
Because.
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BECAUSE JORDAAN
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Sanguine but uplifting, the Toronto singer-songwriter's "transfigured" folk songs ponder existential themes with grace and wonder.
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Dressed in Borrowed Light
by Avi C. Engel
More genre-hopping folk experiments from the Toronto artist, utilizing lap steel guitars, tongue drums, found instruments, and more.
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This husband-and-wife duo from North Carolina spin personal yarns while crafting a warm, nostalgic brand of folk.
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