Warm Gold

by Purrbot

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1.
UNDERWATER HOTEL Let's build that road Across the ocean To the Faeroe Islands We will watch The annual beaching of whales Water red President delegating each piece To each peaceful place We will stay at the underwater hotel Learn the language of the merfolk We will!
2.
SHARE THE GOOD I will shut up In my room With the husk of a giant ladybug Heavily spotted and dark red In my palm it will know How long I'll live Tell me when this sun set I will collect them A warm rustle of elytra A stretch and a yawn Feel free to go Or stay. Stay! I will pull back Withhold You, bored, change the channel Ratings down, I will become snow Snow. Snow! I will zip it and go home Dismiss passion no more No more! No more! No more! Don't hold back your love! Don't forget what's there! Don't forget to offer your hand! Don't forget to share the good! Share the good!
3.
THE SLEEPY CREATURES Carmine, we have a problem The sleepy creatures are multiplying! Darnell, our little girl! Snuggle bunny nuzzling Do you like your new collar sweetie? Carmine, I'm tired of it There are thousands! Thousands of them! Would you like to take a sleepy creature home? Never really awake... Darnell, I miss that sleeper We couldn't keep her She sleeps between us, Keeps us warm!
4.
THE GOD OF PAUSES, BREATHS & RESTS Dear god of pauses, breaths and rests, I have a wish I need your best My bouncing back is less and less So this Is the unceremonious end...? I don't know what to say But "It's hard" and "I'm sorry I'm crazy I'm trying..." So this is the big bang New beginning I am ready and raring Pawing at the air What if no one's there or near? What if I'm too sad to move Or woo you? What if there's no room, No movement, No break, No rescue or revelation? Sit with it Sit with the uncomfort The no answer The impatience Watch and learn Dear god of pauses, breaths and rests I have a wish I need your best My bouncing back is less and less
5.
02:48
HEAVY HEART I never dreamed Your bones In some plastic bag It's been six years since You left while you slept I never dreamed I would only see you In my heart In my head I drew stars on your hands And a star where you stand Now it's drugs to sleep And drugs to wake Drugs to socially lubricate No circadian rhythm left To speak of And now All your winter gear is old and thin And layers aren't cutting it And the wind is cutting in And your cut is not making ends meet Heavy heart Won't stop stalling out Heavy heart won't stop
6.
TOO COLD TO HOLD I regret Being so shy and soft-spoken And where it did not get me I regret to say: I have plateaued I cannot stay There is further yet to go It is safe to say My fair face Has seen it's share Has seen enough I regret being so hesitant To do anything of consequence I regret what time was spent Propped on the fence Inactive and apathetic I regret not telling you earlier While you were still here And now It's electronic love letters Too cold to hold I regret not remembering the good Not documenting as extensively The pleasure, the laughter, the humor, The getting along I regret to say: I have plateaued I cannot stay There is further yet to go
7.
02:25
MY MESS My voice My fire My light My eyes Foggy, blind Distorted, rose Am I making things worse for myself? Am I being ungrateful? I am so grateful! Give yourself a break A vacation from hating yourself My rules, so rigid My love My trust Muffled Don't be so shy Don't fall back so soon My breath My mess My haste, impatience Give yourself a break A vacation from hating yourself
8.
A MODEL FOR ALL THINGS I am hot from walking You are out of town We are chomping at the bit Though Things are moving fast But not too fast We are sleeping in We have always lived in the now Present You and I This is true love This is commitment Let this be a model for all things romantic What if I say I want to spend my life with you? This is true love This is commitment Let this be a model for all things romantic
9.
SO CLOSE IT GLOWS You will take me Out to sea But will you follow me to the Yukon When we are old men? You surprised me No easy feat Taking me out to sea Past the golden gate Holding hands to balance There were islands And sea lions And whales who tried land And went back to water I won't forget The best date ever I'll come back for seconds I can hear a dull roar My ear to the ground A hum coming A train I can't tell you I can tell the future And in it There is a place we go That is so close it glows How did you know?
10.
GO DEAF, WEAR WHITE Leaf-like, I crunch me with you Using you like a sharp tool Even the men in my dreams Are excusing themselves politely And you know what? Save it I don't care Whatever It's jealousy, Textbook. It's embarrassing I should cut down on the drinking On the number of foots in mouths In fact, cut talking all together Go deaf And wear white All white Leaf-like, I check out I cannot be here for this branch detaching Taxed and running on E There is no time for anything I love I am Recovering I forget I am a wonder
11.
THANKSGIVING PLAGUE Look at us Such mistrust Quarantined and holed away Is it lack of caring? Is it lack of wanting to venture out? Is it better off just staying where you are? Is there nothing to find? Will I just get hurt? Will I burn out? Grime and gristle Carbon, black, stuck to the pan Will you burn out on me? Tired of listening Is arm's length far enough? Have you had enough? Is this death catching? Does it come in threes? Who will be next? Who will be left after this plague? It's Thanksgiving but we're mourning
12.
02:14
WARM GOLD You don't scare me And I don't scare you Your heart pours warm gold down my throat You are mirror Then a burst of light When two streams combine We have struck gold in this dark mine I am rich! I am happy! I am rich! I am fed! I have a bottomless carpet bag Of things to give Intangible and tangible You have slowed time Sped up this heart Untied knots Ironed worry At ease, at peace! You picked me ripe amid marigold and yew You sure showed me I am rich! I am happy! I am rich! I am fed!
13.
01:49
GO WEST Go west Pan for gold If there's any left If the know-how hasn't died out Get wet Throw yourself in Hot sex At the hotsprings You got me wet All bets were on But I lost How could i forget But I digress... Go west Pan for gold If there's any left If the know-how holds out Your v-neck Opened into your chest And through your Soft forest I dove into the rest of you I dove into the best of you Go west Pan for gold If there's any left If the know-how hasn't died out

about

"Warm Gold" is the aptly titled fifth album from Portland, Oregon based anti-folkster Purrbot (aka Nathan Wade Carter). Picking up where 2009’s "A Kind of Giving" left off, Carter tells the story of a young man finding his way in the world, letting go of the past, embracing love, the future and all the heartbreak and joys that come between.

Carter expands his palette by taking on the role of producer/engineer and provides the entirety of the vocal work and instrumentation. "Warm Gold" is wholly Carter’s creation. His time, dedication and attention to detail more than pay off. This is easily Purrbot’s richest and most eclectic album to date.

(N. Chaplin)

credits

released February 28, 2011

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Written, Produced & Performed by Nathan Wade Carter

Instruments: Voices, Keyboards, Synths, Banjo, Ukulele, Guitar, Drums, Glockenspiel, Violin.

"The Sleepy Creatures" is based on "Carmine & Darnell & The Sleepy Creatures" (copyright 2004) by James McShane (jamesmcshane.com)

Cover Photo by Sara Nyquist

Design & Lettering by Nathan Wade Carter

Thank You: Patrick, N. Chaplin, Sara Nyquist, Joel Kraft, Leah Wilmoth, Rachel Phariss, Molly Madden, Jill Dieser, Kim Wade, James McShane, Christopher Merkel, Shelby Sifers, Tony Presley, Sara June Woods.

Copyright 2011 Nathan Wade Carter

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Purrbot Portland

Nathan Wade Carter (he/him) is a queer, grey-a, non-binary poet, musician, & artist living in Portland, Oregon. His chapbook is ROYGBIV (Ursus Americanus Press 2017). His poetry can be found in Hobart, Fugue, Gramma Poetry, Poor Claudia, The Fem, & others. He is the editor and founder of SUSAN / The Journal. He writes & performs songs under the name Purrbot. ... more

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